rhythms of rationalizations



A few weeks ago, I had been feeling like a slug for not exercising, for not walking my dogs regularly, for not wanting to get dressed and leave my house, for not practicing my morning yoga for days, maybe even weeks. I was berating myself for not being one of those annoying people who arise each morning at 6 a.m., drive to the "Y" and workout while listening to their favorite ipod tunes for a minimum of 30 minutes. I pondered why I couldn't be one of those people. I worried I would become old and unhealthy. I wondered why I didn't want to get out of bed, never mind exercise.



Then I had one of those great moments-the kind that provide you with a rationalization that will not only get you through a day, but get you through your entire existence.



I thought about the time of year: WINTER-February in particular. A dark month, a cold month, a month in which nearly every one I know gets sick. And I had been sick too. February-the month before March-the month Spring arrives. That's when it hit me: I was not a bum, a loser, a slug-I was a creature of nature, following the rhythms of nature as is intended. It was winter. I wanted to hibernate, hunker down under my covers, drink warm beverages, and read good books.



I realized that soon, the mornings would come earlier, sunlight would flood my bedroom, my bathroom would no longer feel like an icebox, the temperatures outside would not intimidate me . I would want to walk my dogs at 6:30 a.m. again. I would want to do my morning yoga routine.



I had regained faith not only in myself, but in the natural rhythms of nature; of the natural rhythms of humans. It occurred to me how unnatural it may be to get up every morning at the same time, walk into a temperature controlled environment and exercise on machines. Just maybe was it not only "OK" that I was being a bear in my cave in February, but that it was natural and GOOD to be feeling and acting this way. That soon, I would have a different rhythm to my day, a Spring rhythm, and that would morph into my summer rhythm, and into fall, and back to winter.



As I said: a rationalization? A realization? an epiphany?



I am not sure-I think it can be any or all of these. What I do know is that I felt absolutely NO GUILT as I climbed back into bed, cozied up under my covers, and read for awhile before beginning my day. Aaaahhh, a rationalization I can live with!