I can't explain why I felt the way I did when I woke up this morning. I should have felt euphoric, relieved, ecstatic. But I didn't. Instead, I felt kind of down, blue. I felt the way I do on Christmas, after the presents have all been opened, the wrapping paper strewn across my living room floor, after the kids have fallen into bed, asleep from exhaustion and excitement, after my crazy relatives have all gone home (well,if I am lucky), after there is a pile of dishes so high in my sink I could cry, but that I know I will now have to face cleaning. I turned on the news thinking maybe I just needed a fix (because I am a news junkie now)-maybe I just needed a reminder that YES, Obama really did win the election last night. I really did see McCain give a gracious concession speech (with Palin standing as far away from him as possible without looking like she would fall off the stage. Not to mention her hurried exit off the stage. It was as if McCain was the uncool loser in high school that she, the popular, pretty girl did not want to be seen with). I really did stay up late with my husband and now twelve y.o. daughter (her birthday fell on Election day this year-we knew months ago that I'd be crying on her birthday-we were just hoping for tears of relief and joy, not the tears of grief I cried when Bush became our president after the last two elections. My birthday is Inauguration Day. I get to celebrate then too, not cry. YEAH!) I really did watch Obama give an emotional, inspirational, historic victory speech in front of Oprah, Jesse Jackson, and over a hundred thousand others. This scene, more than any other, when replayed today, helped give me a little fix of the emotions I'd felt last night, but I just couldn't get enough. I kept channel surfing, looking for more. The clips of people celebrating in D.C., New York and Kenya helped. But the newscasters quickly moved on to inane conversation, arguing and speculating about details of the campaign and who may be selected for Obama's cabinet. Still, my blah feeling nagged me. I tried listening to radio, to NPR, my constant companion-I have a radio in the bathroom and in the kitchen. Both were gifts from my husband years ago when my kids were little. I do believe there were times when these radios and the ability to listen to NPR (or sometimes rock out, depending on my need), helped save my sanity, my children, and maybe even my marriage. Just as many of the TV shows were discussing the the historic election of a black president, so was this NPR show. A woman phoned in to say that Barack was elected president because he was black. That he received enough votes because of all those "educated" people living in the coastal states who had been taught multiculturalism and political correctness, so that they could only vote black because that was was they were taught. Without bothering to argue the woman's ignorant and racist statement, the host responded with, "You mean those coastal states such as Iowa, Ohio, Illinois, and Indiana?"
Hey, I have rambled on so much that I think I finally got myself out of my funk. I reminded myself why I am a self-confessed Obamamaniac. And yes, I am thrilled that he is the first African American president this country will have. I am proud that our country has elected Obama. But mostly I am thrilled that he will be our new president. As Chris Rock has said, and I paraphrase here, "Obama isn't just any black guy running for president. I'm not voting for him because he's black. I wouldn't vote for Flava-Flav. I'm voting for him because he's Barack."